Kenny Joins the Navy
by TheOutsidersIsAmazingButSad
Summary: Like the title suggests, Kenny enlists in the US Navy. Warning: Vulgar language. Pairings include: Stan/Wendy, Kyle/Cartman. Disclaimer: I do not own South Park. Accepting OCs
1. Chapter 1

I sighed as I listened to everyone talk about which colleges they were planning on attending next year. I was sick and tired of all the hype about college, why pay a ton of money to go to school, just to get a degree in something you'll probably never get a career in anyway? Not to mention, that if you don't get your dream career, a lot of places won't hire you for being "over-qualified". Yea, spending my whole life with unpaid student debts lingering over my shoulder sure sounds like a fullfilled life.

I think that part of it was jealousy, because I didn't have money, like Token's family, to get all my college paid for right off the bat, or brains, like Wendy, to get a full ride scholarship to Yale.

I was surprised that I was even graduating, I mean, when you die a lot, you miss A LOT of school. I supposed the teachers just wanted to get me out of their hair.

When the bell rang for us all to go home, we all climbed into Cartman's red pontiac that smelled like cheesy poofs and moldy fries.

"Don't you ever clean this car?" Kyle asked with distaste.

"If you don't like it then you can walk!" Cartman snapped.

"Hey, where's Stan?" I cut in before they could start another one of their infamous fights, which were still going on even though we're all seventeen and eighteen.

"He's riding home with hippie-bitch, apparently they're going to 'study' or something." Cartman said, using his fingers to put air-quotes over the word study.

"Jealous you can't get anyone fat-ass?" Kyle asked with a smirk.

"Well, I COULD if you weren't such a prude!" Cartman snapped. This may be hard to believe, but Kyle and Cartman started dating in grade ten. When everyone found out, they were shocked, Stan even went goth again for a few days for some reason, but after the shock wore off, everything went back to normal.

"So, uh, what college are you guys going to?" I asked.

"Well, we decided to take a gap year and do some travelling and stuff." Kyle said with a shrug. This shocked me, I never imagined his mother to be one to allow him to do something like that.

"Oh yea? Where are you planning on travelling to?" I asked.

"Across the United States, including Alaska and Hawaii." He replied.

"I hope you have a fun time." I said as we pulled up in front of my house.  
"See you guys later." I said hopping out of the car and running to the front porch. When I got there, my mother opened the door and thrust the house phone into my hand,

"It's for you." She said.

"Hey babe." I said, figuring that it was one of my many ladies.

"Uh,excuse me?" An older male voice said, uh oh.

"Uh, hello? Who is this?" I asked.

"I'm Petty Officer Foggles, I'm a recruiter for the Navy, I saw your ASVAB score, and I was wondering if you would be interested in joining the United States Navy." He said.

I narrowed my eyes slightly, this could be some kind of pedo-trick or something, however, there were military recruiters set up in the mall for people to come enlist, maybe he really was trying to recruit me, I didn't understand why though, I barely knew any of the answers on the ASVAB quiz.

"If you're interested, you could come down by the mall and fill out some paperwork." Petty Officer Foggles then said.

I thought about it, I didn't really have anything planned to do with my life, I didn't want to be a poor ass piece of shit drunk like my parents.

"Okay, I'll do it." I said firmly.

About ten minutes later, I had arrived at the mall, thankfully, I had convinced Clyde to give me a ride.

"Thanks." I told him again before giving him one of my Playboy mags. I then stepped into the mall and walked past the Army office, where a muscular soilder was lifting weights in there, and past the Marines office, where a man was doing paperwork at his desk. Next was the Navy office, in there sat a man, who looked to be about in his early thirties, with short hair, wearing a tan shirt with a pair of black slacks.

I took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

"Come in." He called. I walked in slowly, and took a look around the office, in the left corner was the American flag, on the wall, were pictures of ships, submarines, and the ilk. On the left wall, were pictures of people who looked about my age.

"Past recruits we've had." The man said, he must have noticed me staring.

"So, what can I help you with?" He asked.

"Um, I'm Kenny McCormick, Petty Officer Foggle called me." I said.

"Oh that's right, have a seat." The man, who I guessed was Petty Officer Foggle, said.

I took a seat in one of the chairs by the desk.

He then proceeded to tell me about a cash bonus that I would get if I made it through basic training, which sounded pretty awesome to me, about C school, and going to Chicago, all of which really captivated my interest.

"So, what do you say?" He asked.

"I'll do it, when do I start basic training?" I asked, excited to get this all under-way.

"Well, we can't actually ship you out right away, and you also need to graduate school first." He said.

I nodded.

"Okay, so here is what we're going to do, you're going into something called DEP, or rather, The Delayed Entry Program, there you will learn The Sailor's Creed, The Eleven General Orders, The Chain of Command, how to salute, and you will also be doing PT to prepare you." He said.

"What's PT?" I asked.

"Physical Training, the Navy has certain physical requirements that one must pass before they can join the Navy." He replied.

I took a deep breath, excerise hasn't ever really been one of my strong suits, however, who knows? I might grow to love it, I might even get enough muscle to beat up my older brother Kevin.

"So, when do we start?" I asked.

"Here." Petty Officer Foggles said, holding me a blue folder with sailors on a ship on it, it was filled with papers.

"What's this?" I asked.  
"In there are things you must know to get through Basic Training, there are booklets that have The Sailors Creed, The Eleven General Orders, The Chain of Command, the rankings, and the rules." He answered.

"I want you to go home and study these, you will have to memorise them, because the Chiefs and Petty Officers at basic will catch you off guard, and ask you to name like General Order number three or something." He said.

I opened the folder, and found the page that had the Eleven General Orders listed on it, I saw that number three said,

'To report all violations of orders I am instructed to enforce.'

Man, these seem like they will be hard to remember, thought to myself as I read through them, especially number six.

"Oh McCormick, before you go, do you know what the three core values of the Navy are?" Petty Officer Foggles asked.

"Uh, no." I said, I didn't know much about the Navy before I came here, except that they work in water and stuff.

"Honour, Courage, and Committment, remember that." Petty Officer Foggle said.

"Honour, Courage and Committment." I repeated to myself as I walked out of the Navy office. I felt both nervous and excited about the whole ordeal, I could only imagine how proud everyone would be of me, all the benefits I would get, how all the ladies would stare at me lovingly as I wore my sailor uniform. I smiled and held the folder against my chest, this was going to be amazing, I just knew it was.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: If anyone would like to have your OCs put in this story to be like, other recruits and stuff, then that would be great.**

 **Guest, I honestly don't think I'm going to ship Kenny with anyone in this fic, if I do, it might be Craig or Clyde. Thank you for reviewing by the way.**

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I doubled over and put my hands on my knees as I tried to catch my breath.  
"Come on McCormick! You still have a long ways to go!" Petty Officer Foggle snapped. I let out a loud sigh, it was only my second day of doing PT training, and already I hated Petty Officer Foggle.

Other than doing PT, myself and the other DEPPERS were learning how to salute, how to stand at attention, parade rest, and other various foot-work that almost made me fall on my face a few times.

When I told my friends and family about joining the Navy, my parents didn't believe that I would make it through, Cartman said that the Navy is gay, Stan and Kyle supported me, and Craig and his gang kept blaring 'In the Navy', a parody of 'YMCA', from their phones everytime they saw me.

After I finished running the 1.5 miles, I fell down onto my back beside a few other DEPPERS who were tired as well.

"Oh, don't think you're done yet, everyone get a partner, we're going to do sit-ups." Petty Officer Foggle said.

I let out a low groan, I hoped I would get into shape soon, that way my weekends up to my ship date wouldn't be full of painful muscles, burning lungs, and feeling like I was going to puke at every turn.

After PT FINALLY finished, I walked to the parking lot to wait for Clyde to come pick me up. He had agreed to take me to and from the Navy Office as long as I supplied him with a new Playboy each time.

Moments later, I heard a honk and saw Clyde's dark green sedan heading towards me. I gave him a small wave, and got into the car when he stopped.

"So, how was it?" He asked.  
"Hell." I panted out as I took a swig from my water bottle.

"Have you started to develop abs yet?" He asked.

I let out a snort,

"No, I don't think two days of working out is going to give someone abs." I said.

"You know, Craig's dad heard about you joining the Navy, and now he's trying to get Craig to join." Clyde said as we drove to my house.

"Really? What does Craig have to say about it?" I asked.

"Well, he's seriously considering it, he doesn't really have much going for him in terms of what he wants to do with his future." Clyde said. Looks like we're in the same boat. I thought to myself. The more I thought about Craig enlisting in the Navy, the more I liked the idea, it would be good to train with someone I knew, to have someone to study with, and to share my woes about PT with. Not to mention, if we were at basic around the same time, I wouldn't feel as lost as I imagined I would.

"So, when's your ship date?" Clyde asked, breaking into my thoughts.

"September 9th." I replied.

"That far away? It's not even April yet." Clyde said.

"Yea, well, some people have to wait even longer before they ship out." I said. Honestly, I was both happy and sad about my ship date, happy because it still gave me a few more months of freedom, sad because I wanted to hurry up and make something of myself.

When I got home, my father leered at me from the couch, I saw that he had a bottle of scotch in one hand, and a bottle of vodka in the other.

"So, how's the big shot? I hope you don't think you're too good for this family just because you're in the Navy." He slurred. I ignored him and walked to my room, his yelling was a little bit harder to ignore, however, I was used to it, I knew that he would give up soon and just go back to doing whatever the hell he was doing. I didn't understand why my dad was being so rude about me enlisting in the Navy. I guessed that he was jealous, that he never made anything of himself. I didn't care what he, or anyone else thought though, I was going to make something of myself, I wasn't going to just be the poor kid anymore, I was going to be somebody.


End file.
